It has been a while since I blogged, as I have become incredibly busy, between classes, practice, and trying to finish my latest video projects (and failing miserably). Last semester sure had been filled with excitement, and action, both from the amount of work I had to balance across four classes, and from my experiences going to rugby practice. This post is coincidentally timed, in that practice is just picking up again.
Yes, I finally started going to practice regularly last semester. It is, as I expected, a total blast.
Hard work, yes, but the kind you look forward to every day. The kind of hard work where you wake up sore the next morning, but say to yourself "I can't wait to do it again."
The routine quickly became an understood, and much anticipated part of the day. We all gathered on the field, upwards of a half hour before practice began. Some of us stretched. Others would warm up by passing, or practicing kicking, others would just shoot the breeze with one another, and with the coaches. A pretty relaxed atmosphere. When the clock struck 5, however, it was time to get moving. With a call of "get your cleats on," everyone springs into action. A couple of minutes later, we are jogging, getting the blood flowing, and the cobwebs out of our legs (figuratively speaking, of course). Drills, and touch rugby games to re-enforce everything we have been learning, as well games of touch rugby to re-enforce everything we've been learning, and improve our games, would take up the next two hours of the early evening. I won't get into specifics here regarding techniques and skills needed to play rugby, as this post is intended to be focused on my experiences with getting into the sport, and interacting with everyone else.
Despite the various issues I had to contend with, which showed themselves earlier on (particularly in the humid weather of late summer / early fall) I felt accepted from day one by the rest of the people at practice. No matter how much I may have felt like I was not doing well at rudimentary drills concerning depth, and passing, my peers kept encouraging me to keep going, and also had to tell me to stop beating myself up (figuratively, of course), even going as far as helping me with the techniques that I needed to learn. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting the acceptance and camaraderie I saw. Maybe it is just some of the generally not-so-positive experiences I've had in previous college years, long before I ever thought about pursuing playing rugby. Before coming to Iona, I had some bad experiences. On the whole, I've had far more good times than bad, but damn, some of the bad experiences I did have were doozies. I don't know when I should go into that, but I will eventually. Over time, those "doozies" made it hard to feel comfortable being open to people who fell outside my usual comfort zone - irrespective of if it was warranted or not, and irrespective of if the discomfort was rational or not. Needless to say, the atmosphere walking onto the pitch for the first time was quite welcoming, and everybody worked hard to try to make each other the best rugby player they could be. After all, we were all here, unified by our love for rugby - and a passionate desire to play, and do well. We were always encouraging each other, even when we may have made minor mistakes, and even though there were plenty of times where I felt it was nothing special - just a sign of well needed improvement, I accepted the encouraging words of my peers because, well, it just feels damn good to know when you are starting to do things correctly, and improve.
The only thing that continuously proved to bother me over the course of the past semester was how I would, with some regularity, wind up being told to sit out of tackle drills. Don't get me wrong, having read my dossier so to speak, I understand if any of the coaches have concerns about the act of tackling - especially since, at first glance, I don't necessarily look like the type who can handle the physical requirements. I am, however, stronger than I look. In the couple of times I have successfully bucked, and stuck around for the drills, I feel like I have been able to handle it - even if there is still work to be done with regard to executing a tackle correctly. Now, I don't see myself strong enough to endure scrums, or being able to lift players during line outs - not yet, at least, but I don't need to in order to show that I can handle learning the techniques of tackling, and handle being tackled.
Unfortunately, it looks as if my goal of playing for IONA will, in all probability, not be reached - as I graduate in May. The only way that particular goal could possibly be achieved would be if I somehow was able to continue my education by going to graduate school - which is definitely not in the cards, at least for now. This inevitability, however, does not mean that my expedition into the world of rugby ends. Far from it. Working my way up, if possible, it'd be interesting, and fun, to see if I can get myself into the kind of sharpness - fitness and skill wise - to try to break into professional rugby. This new goal would allow me to continue my YouTube series, and more importantly, allow me to continue pursuing a sport that I have become almost magnetically attached to, and extremely passionate about.
Sunday, March 25, 2018
Wednesday, June 7, 2017
Finding Reason Behind My Disposition
At the end of the first episode in my YouTube series, I stated that I didn't know for sure what could have resulted in being born with so many physiological and neurological issues, as there were a lot of possibilities, and room for speculation. For the longest of time, I had been curious about what circumstances could have arisen during my birth to bring me into this world with such issues, and began doing a little research as to what could cause these issues to develop in the developing human baby.
The first question I had was simple: what could have happened to result in my being born with so many issues? I had heard rumors that substance abuse had taken place, and used that as a springboard for my research. This research first lead me to learning about fetal alcohol spectrum disorders. These are, essentially, a range of conditions that can occur due to the mother consuming alcohol during pregnancy, and can cause problems even at the earliest stage in a child's development.¹ Some of the issues that become apparent in the baby include hyperactive behavior, difficulty with attention, speech and language delays, learning disabilities, issues related to communicating and socializing, and various difficulties with daily activities that required physical dexterity, and even things like vision problems.¹
There are a wide range of areas that can be affected, and many degrees of being impacted; just because you don't see the most severe of birth defects, or complications, doesn't necessarily mean that fetal alcohol spectrum disorders are absent, nor does it downplay the impact on development that these disorders have. In fact, there is a variant, if you will, known as Partial Fetal Alcohol Syndrome which, from my understanding, is a form where often you won't necessarily see the physical abnormalities associated with FAS, but will still be impacted by other symptoms of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.²
Now I had an idea about what exactly it was that most likely brought upon my physiological, and neurological issues - a combination of factors that were likely to have arisen, but a piece of the puzzle was still missing, which brought me to my second question: What was going on in the relationship between my birth parents that could have lead to substance abuse, and subsequent developmental issues?
Finding this out was initially hampered by the fact that I had not been in contact with any of my biological family until the summer of 2013, when my youngest sister - who had been searching for her siblings, and had found 4 others - had finally found me, and brought me into contact with my other siblings, as well as my biological mother.
I was born on October 8th, 1989, in Little Rock, Arkansas. I was adopted some 36-someodd hours later, brought to New York, where I grew up. During the summer of 2013, I was contacted by my youngest biological sister, and it was from her work in finding our birth mother, and most of our siblings, that I was able to learn more about my biological family. I was actually one of 7 siblings born over a course of 13 years to the couple who had me, a literal "middle sibling;" with a sister and two brothers who were born before me, as well as two sisters and a brother, who were born after me. The circumstances behind our births, however, were far from what you'd find in a happy relationship.
As I sought more information about my biological family, as well as the circumstances behind our births, I quickly learned that even though there were positive attributes - resourcefulness, as well as a knack for mathematics and technology, there was a very dark side that overshadowed all of that. During the time that he was with my birth mother, there was abuse - most definitely psychological and emotional, I do not know if any physical abuse occurred, or (if there was) how bad it was, but I can't rule it out either. I can, however, take a guess that as a result of this abuse, alcohol was utilized as an escape. Finding statistics to support the assertion that turning to alcohol as an escape from abuse is not all that uncommon had been, well, rather difficult, as every time I tried to find information regarding the abused/victim, results would pop up that talked about the abuser, leaving out the information that I desired to find. I did find out about a study published in 2004, which revealed that approximately 97% of domestic abuse survivors - irrespective of if the abuse were physical, emotionally, or both - will turn to alcohol as a means to escape the physical and psychological aspects of their abuse.⁴ Unfortunately, as stated near the beginning of this blog post, the consequences of abusing alcohol while pregnant for the developing child can be severe.
Do not misunderstand me, I do not wish to lay blame on my birth mother, or make her feel a certain way about it at all. I have seen the effect of abuse with friends, albeit nowhere to the extent my biological parents went through, on someone psychologically, and the outright difficulty that comes with trying to just get out. The depression can alter the way you feel, think, and act, making you, essentially, a different person, and one might be aware of it, but have trouble being truly aware, able to do something about it for a multitude of reasons. I recall reading stories from my birth mother about moments where the cycle of torment would be broken, albeit temporary - for example, I recall stories of how my eldest sister's ferret would hide in the father's favorite chair, and bite him when he sat down, resulting in a rather amusing cat and mouse game that ended with him getting bitten up even more, angrily cursing the animal off. Amusing as that story was, it did leave me feeling more in tune with how tormented both my biological mother, and eldest sister, must have been.
I truly, and deeply just wanted to understand how I could have ended up coming into this world with so many issues that needed to be overcome if I wanted to have a nearly normal life. I feel as if I am at a point where I finally have more answers than questions, and fully understand how complicated something that seemed so simple could be. Some questions linger - like whether substance (ab)use during pregnancy can be linked to Autism Spectrum Disorders, a question that has been met with lots of disagreement in the scientific community.⁵ ⁶ ⁷ Those questions, however, must wait until the right people are able to carry out the right kind of research.
If, by some stroke of luck, my YouTube channel and blog become far more noticed by the public at large, corny as it may sound, I'd actually like to help raise awareness about these issues - fetal alcohol spectrum disorders, alcohol abuse and how they affect the unborn child, domestic abuse and how it connects to substance abuse, and so on. There are probably a good number of people who were born into circumstances similar to mine, whose birth parents were in a similar situation to those mine were, whose stories remain untold. By giving them an avenue to be heard, perhaps we can help reduce the likelihood of a child being born with these sorts of physiological and neurological issues, help give victims of domestic abuse better tools to escape before it gets so severe that their judgement is impaired enough to abuse substances, and give tools to those whose children - adopted or not - have been afflicted with fetal alcohol spectrum disorders so they can help their child overcome the worst of their afflictions, and live a life not weighed down by those disabilities.
Links & References
1. Characteristics and Symptoms of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome by Teresa Kellerman [npaihb.org]
2. Recognizing FASD - The National Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
3. Fetal Alcohol Exposure - National Institute on Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse
4. Galvani, S., (2004) Responsible Disinhibition: Alcohol, Men and Violence To Women, Addiction, Research and Theory, 12(4), 357-371
5. Eliasen, M., J. S. Tolstrup, A. M. Nybo, M. Grønbaek, J. Olsen, and K. Strandberg-Larsen. "Prenatal alcohol exposure and autistic spectrum disorders--a population-based prospective study of 80,552 children and their mothers." International journal of epidemiology. U.S. National Library of Medicine, Aug. 2010. Web. 07 June 2017.
6. Aronson, Marita, Bibbi Hagberg, and Christopher Gillberg. "Attention deficits and autistic spectrum problems in children exposed to alcohol during gestation: a follow‐up study." Developmental Medicine & Child Neurology. Blackwell Publishing Ltd, 29 Sept. 2008. Web. 07 June 2017.
7. "Are there any links between maternal drug use and autism?" Autism Reading Room. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 June 2017.
The first question I had was simple: what could have happened to result in my being born with so many issues? I had heard rumors that substance abuse had taken place, and used that as a springboard for my research. This research first lead me to learning about fetal alcohol spectrum disorders. These are, essentially, a range of conditions that can occur due to the mother consuming alcohol during pregnancy, and can cause problems even at the earliest stage in a child's development.¹ Some of the issues that become apparent in the baby include hyperactive behavior, difficulty with attention, speech and language delays, learning disabilities, issues related to communicating and socializing, and various difficulties with daily activities that required physical dexterity, and even things like vision problems.¹
There are a wide range of areas that can be affected, and many degrees of being impacted; just because you don't see the most severe of birth defects, or complications, doesn't necessarily mean that fetal alcohol spectrum disorders are absent, nor does it downplay the impact on development that these disorders have. In fact, there is a variant, if you will, known as Partial Fetal Alcohol Syndrome which, from my understanding, is a form where often you won't necessarily see the physical abnormalities associated with FAS, but will still be impacted by other symptoms of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.²
Now I had an idea about what exactly it was that most likely brought upon my physiological, and neurological issues - a combination of factors that were likely to have arisen, but a piece of the puzzle was still missing, which brought me to my second question: What was going on in the relationship between my birth parents that could have lead to substance abuse, and subsequent developmental issues?
Finding this out was initially hampered by the fact that I had not been in contact with any of my biological family until the summer of 2013, when my youngest sister - who had been searching for her siblings, and had found 4 others - had finally found me, and brought me into contact with my other siblings, as well as my biological mother.
I was born on October 8th, 1989, in Little Rock, Arkansas. I was adopted some 36-someodd hours later, brought to New York, where I grew up. During the summer of 2013, I was contacted by my youngest biological sister, and it was from her work in finding our birth mother, and most of our siblings, that I was able to learn more about my biological family. I was actually one of 7 siblings born over a course of 13 years to the couple who had me, a literal "middle sibling;" with a sister and two brothers who were born before me, as well as two sisters and a brother, who were born after me. The circumstances behind our births, however, were far from what you'd find in a happy relationship.
As I sought more information about my biological family, as well as the circumstances behind our births, I quickly learned that even though there were positive attributes - resourcefulness, as well as a knack for mathematics and technology, there was a very dark side that overshadowed all of that. During the time that he was with my birth mother, there was abuse - most definitely psychological and emotional, I do not know if any physical abuse occurred, or (if there was) how bad it was, but I can't rule it out either. I can, however, take a guess that as a result of this abuse, alcohol was utilized as an escape. Finding statistics to support the assertion that turning to alcohol as an escape from abuse is not all that uncommon had been, well, rather difficult, as every time I tried to find information regarding the abused/victim, results would pop up that talked about the abuser, leaving out the information that I desired to find. I did find out about a study published in 2004, which revealed that approximately 97% of domestic abuse survivors - irrespective of if the abuse were physical, emotionally, or both - will turn to alcohol as a means to escape the physical and psychological aspects of their abuse.⁴ Unfortunately, as stated near the beginning of this blog post, the consequences of abusing alcohol while pregnant for the developing child can be severe.
Do not misunderstand me, I do not wish to lay blame on my birth mother, or make her feel a certain way about it at all. I have seen the effect of abuse with friends, albeit nowhere to the extent my biological parents went through, on someone psychologically, and the outright difficulty that comes with trying to just get out. The depression can alter the way you feel, think, and act, making you, essentially, a different person, and one might be aware of it, but have trouble being truly aware, able to do something about it for a multitude of reasons. I recall reading stories from my birth mother about moments where the cycle of torment would be broken, albeit temporary - for example, I recall stories of how my eldest sister's ferret would hide in the father's favorite chair, and bite him when he sat down, resulting in a rather amusing cat and mouse game that ended with him getting bitten up even more, angrily cursing the animal off. Amusing as that story was, it did leave me feeling more in tune with how tormented both my biological mother, and eldest sister, must have been.
I truly, and deeply just wanted to understand how I could have ended up coming into this world with so many issues that needed to be overcome if I wanted to have a nearly normal life. I feel as if I am at a point where I finally have more answers than questions, and fully understand how complicated something that seemed so simple could be. Some questions linger - like whether substance (ab)use during pregnancy can be linked to Autism Spectrum Disorders, a question that has been met with lots of disagreement in the scientific community.⁵ ⁶ ⁷ Those questions, however, must wait until the right people are able to carry out the right kind of research.
If, by some stroke of luck, my YouTube channel and blog become far more noticed by the public at large, corny as it may sound, I'd actually like to help raise awareness about these issues - fetal alcohol spectrum disorders, alcohol abuse and how they affect the unborn child, domestic abuse and how it connects to substance abuse, and so on. There are probably a good number of people who were born into circumstances similar to mine, whose birth parents were in a similar situation to those mine were, whose stories remain untold. By giving them an avenue to be heard, perhaps we can help reduce the likelihood of a child being born with these sorts of physiological and neurological issues, help give victims of domestic abuse better tools to escape before it gets so severe that their judgement is impaired enough to abuse substances, and give tools to those whose children - adopted or not - have been afflicted with fetal alcohol spectrum disorders so they can help their child overcome the worst of their afflictions, and live a life not weighed down by those disabilities.
Links & References
1. Characteristics and Symptoms of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome by Teresa Kellerman [npaihb.org]
2. Recognizing FASD - The National Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
3. Fetal Alcohol Exposure - National Institute on Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse
4. Galvani, S., (2004) Responsible Disinhibition: Alcohol, Men and Violence To Women, Addiction, Research and Theory, 12(4), 357-371
5. Eliasen, M., J. S. Tolstrup, A. M. Nybo, M. Grønbaek, J. Olsen, and K. Strandberg-Larsen. "Prenatal alcohol exposure and autistic spectrum disorders--a population-based prospective study of 80,552 children and their mothers." International journal of epidemiology. U.S. National Library of Medicine, Aug. 2010. Web. 07 June 2017.
6. Aronson, Marita, Bibbi Hagberg, and Christopher Gillberg. "Attention deficits and autistic spectrum problems in children exposed to alcohol during gestation: a follow‐up study." Developmental Medicine & Child Neurology. Blackwell Publishing Ltd, 29 Sept. 2008. Web. 07 June 2017.
7. "Are there any links between maternal drug use and autism?" Autism Reading Room. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 June 2017.
Monday, April 10, 2017
Eligibility to Play : Hurdle, or Roadblock?
So far, I've briefly discussed the physiological issues I have had to contend with, as well as some of the neurological, and neurobehavioral issues I've had to deal with on top of that. These issues contribute to making my run down the road to rugby fitness a little more difficult in their own ways. Whether it be my ability to stay motivated and focused, or my tendency to tire out a little easier, these issues are but another speed bump I have to cross if I want to succeed. There is, however, a separate issue that I will be facing, which provides its own hurdles to jump over. This issue has less to do with me, than it does with policies that govern eligibility for playing competitively, as part of a college team. To be a bit more concise, my issue is not so much with these policies, but with the unknown of whether USA Rugby would be flexible enough to take my circumstances into consideration should I need to apply for a waiver just to be able to play.
In the U.S, competitive rugby falls under the jurisdiction of USA Rugby - irrespective of if the team is a high school team, a college team, or a team that was formed outside of academic circles. For college teams, USA Rugby models itself similarly to the NCAA with regards to having an "eligibility clock." Essentially, starting from a point in time, you have only a certain number of semesters within which you are eligible to play. Specific numbers depend on what sports you play, and what organization's jurisdiction that falls under. For USA Rugby, "eligibility is a seven-year window that begins in the academic year immediately following a player’s high school graduation date during which a player may not participate more than five seasons."² You can, if circumstances allow, request a waiver, but there are guidelines that determine if an appeal will be successful or not.
Maybe my Google™-fu is failing, but I had trouble finding a specific, official statement as to the purpose of this eligibility clock. The closest guess I could ascertain, however, was concern about a team having an advantage over others. This alone seems fair, but can become problematic if the decision making on appeals related to eligibility matters are too rigid, as there is a chance that Granted, if they are too loose, there could be a host of problems as well, but I feel like there are a lot of people out there who are in positions similar to mine, who could find a passion in rugby and could go try it - even succeed in it - but can't either because the circumstances are not substantial enough to get an exception to the rules, or because the rigidity is off-putting, and viewed as not worth trying to challenge.
I've been in college for a fairly long time, its time becoming dragged out for a multitude of reasons. I started going to college in the fall of 2007, upon graduating high school. I enrolled at a state university, as a full time student.¹ 3 semesters later, I dropped out due to extremely severe depression stemming from the stresses I was under at the time. The summer following my departure, I enrolled at Westchester Community College to study computer science. There, I was a full-time student, taking 9-10 credits per semester.¹ Unfortunately, between academic issues, and continuous "oops, you need these classes to graduate" moments, my time there was stretched out from the 2 years that it should have been, to approximately 4 years. I graduated in the spring of 2013 with an Associate in Science (A.S.) degree in computer science, then took a couple of years off, during which I tried to explore potential career opportunities. It wasn't long, however, before I got the yearning to continue on, and finish what I had started. During the spring semester of 2016, I enrolled at Iona College. I only took one course, with the intent of easing my way back into an academic lifestyle. The following semester - this past semester, rather, crippling depression nearly ruined my chances of continuing my education. Fortunately, my circumstances were such where I was able to appeal being dismissed. I am now on medication for depression, and feel a sense of motivation, and well being I haven't felt in many, many years.
This seems like quite a bit of rambling, but my point in going through my academic career is to emphasize the complex circumstances that can make what seems like a straightforward path really shows itself as a very windy road. When you couple this with the physiological, and neurological, issues that I have had to contend with, I (at least) have difficulty seeing how my pushing for eligibility would create an advantage for the Gaels. Maybe someone can think of a reason as to why my efforts would fail, currently, however, I am drawing blanks.
I hope I can be be optimistic, thinking that maybe USA Rugby is level-headed about extenuating circumstances, I don't know though. My doubtful, pessimistic outlook comes from seeing changes that one could argue as "common sense" took some time (and negative press) to implement on their end. For example, did you know that before 2015, those who left college to serve in the military would have had to live with their clock time being completely expired when they returned to college>³ From what research I could gather up, it became an issue in 2013, two years before they realized "oh damn, maybe this sort of rigidity needs some exceptions for those circumstances." I am by no means comparing myself to those people, by the way, what they do takes more bravery than I can muster. I was using it only as an example of how slow progress can take.
Enough about me, though. As I said before, there might be a lot of people who have similar stories to mine, there might be people who have had their own stories that, while very different, all have the same underlying theme in that they want to participate in college sports, were unable to for unique circumstances, and feel like eligibility might become an issue - and I get that we want teams on an even playing field, that is not a bad thing. There just needs to be more flexibility to it all. Whether I will need to put in an uphill fight or not, whether my circumstances seem extenuating enough, have yet to be seen - I just hope that this issue of eligibility won't completely shut me out of my dream to play some form of college sport.
Notes:
¹ Full time students at 4 year schools are often students who take 12 or more credits per semester. In community colleges, the minimum needed to be considered "full time" can be lower. At Westchester Community College, for instance, 9-12 credits is considered "full time," and 6 or fewer credits is considered "part time."
² USA Rugby College Eligibility FAQ [PDF]
³ USA Rugby Pilots new Military College Eligibility Rule (October 14th, 2015)
In the U.S, competitive rugby falls under the jurisdiction of USA Rugby - irrespective of if the team is a high school team, a college team, or a team that was formed outside of academic circles. For college teams, USA Rugby models itself similarly to the NCAA with regards to having an "eligibility clock." Essentially, starting from a point in time, you have only a certain number of semesters within which you are eligible to play. Specific numbers depend on what sports you play, and what organization's jurisdiction that falls under. For USA Rugby, "eligibility is a seven-year window that begins in the academic year immediately following a player’s high school graduation date during which a player may not participate more than five seasons."² You can, if circumstances allow, request a waiver, but there are guidelines that determine if an appeal will be successful or not.
Maybe my Google™-fu is failing, but I had trouble finding a specific, official statement as to the purpose of this eligibility clock. The closest guess I could ascertain, however, was concern about a team having an advantage over others. This alone seems fair, but can become problematic if the decision making on appeals related to eligibility matters are too rigid, as there is a chance that Granted, if they are too loose, there could be a host of problems as well, but I feel like there are a lot of people out there who are in positions similar to mine, who could find a passion in rugby and could go try it - even succeed in it - but can't either because the circumstances are not substantial enough to get an exception to the rules, or because the rigidity is off-putting, and viewed as not worth trying to challenge.
I've been in college for a fairly long time, its time becoming dragged out for a multitude of reasons. I started going to college in the fall of 2007, upon graduating high school. I enrolled at a state university, as a full time student.¹ 3 semesters later, I dropped out due to extremely severe depression stemming from the stresses I was under at the time. The summer following my departure, I enrolled at Westchester Community College to study computer science. There, I was a full-time student, taking 9-10 credits per semester.¹ Unfortunately, between academic issues, and continuous "oops, you need these classes to graduate" moments, my time there was stretched out from the 2 years that it should have been, to approximately 4 years. I graduated in the spring of 2013 with an Associate in Science (A.S.) degree in computer science, then took a couple of years off, during which I tried to explore potential career opportunities. It wasn't long, however, before I got the yearning to continue on, and finish what I had started. During the spring semester of 2016, I enrolled at Iona College. I only took one course, with the intent of easing my way back into an academic lifestyle. The following semester - this past semester, rather, crippling depression nearly ruined my chances of continuing my education. Fortunately, my circumstances were such where I was able to appeal being dismissed. I am now on medication for depression, and feel a sense of motivation, and well being I haven't felt in many, many years.
This seems like quite a bit of rambling, but my point in going through my academic career is to emphasize the complex circumstances that can make what seems like a straightforward path really shows itself as a very windy road. When you couple this with the physiological, and neurological, issues that I have had to contend with, I (at least) have difficulty seeing how my pushing for eligibility would create an advantage for the Gaels. Maybe someone can think of a reason as to why my efforts would fail, currently, however, I am drawing blanks.
I hope I can be be optimistic, thinking that maybe USA Rugby is level-headed about extenuating circumstances, I don't know though. My doubtful, pessimistic outlook comes from seeing changes that one could argue as "common sense" took some time (and negative press) to implement on their end. For example, did you know that before 2015, those who left college to serve in the military would have had to live with their clock time being completely expired when they returned to college>³ From what research I could gather up, it became an issue in 2013, two years before they realized "oh damn, maybe this sort of rigidity needs some exceptions for those circumstances." I am by no means comparing myself to those people, by the way, what they do takes more bravery than I can muster. I was using it only as an example of how slow progress can take.
Enough about me, though. As I said before, there might be a lot of people who have similar stories to mine, there might be people who have had their own stories that, while very different, all have the same underlying theme in that they want to participate in college sports, were unable to for unique circumstances, and feel like eligibility might become an issue - and I get that we want teams on an even playing field, that is not a bad thing. There just needs to be more flexibility to it all. Whether I will need to put in an uphill fight or not, whether my circumstances seem extenuating enough, have yet to be seen - I just hope that this issue of eligibility won't completely shut me out of my dream to play some form of college sport.
Notes:
¹ Full time students at 4 year schools are often students who take 12 or more credits per semester. In community colleges, the minimum needed to be considered "full time" can be lower. At Westchester Community College, for instance, 9-12 credits is considered "full time," and 6 or fewer credits is considered "part time."
² USA Rugby College Eligibility FAQ [PDF]
³ USA Rugby Pilots new Military College Eligibility Rule (October 14th, 2015)
Saturday, April 1, 2017
Why Club Sports?
When it comes to college sports, there are a lot of option, something for everyone if you will, from the casual enthusiast, to those who seek out the prestige of playing in Division 1 sports (irrespective of whether going pro is a goal to them or not), to those who want something a little more in between.
You can break down these different levels of college sports into 3 categories:
'Why did I choose to play a club sport?' you might be wondering. Between the statement that could be made by pursuing varsity sports (given the issues I've had to overcome), and the prestige associated with varsity sports, you'd think that playing in a varsity sport would be worth pursuing. There are a few factors, however, that make me lean towards club sports over varsity sports besides the fact that men's rugby is considered a club sport.
1. Time Dedication
It is no secret that varsity athletes work hard, especially Div. 1 athletes. So hard that the NCAA limits their time playing, and practicing, to approximately 20 hours a week, or 4 hours per working day. This eats away a lot of time that could be dedicated to studying for classes, leisure, and necessities like eating, and sleeping. Additionally, practice schedules can create issues in so far as class availability, and scheduling.
In contrast, many club sports meet for about half that time, or 2 hours a day, for a total of 10 hours a week. Some club sports meet for less time than that. As a result, those who participate in club sports have more time to dedicate towards academic success, compared to those who are in varsity sports. For someone like me, who is still working on improving time management, and sometimes finds dis tractability an issue, the additional free time also makes it less stressful to plan out my time. Finally, the lower amount of time dedicated to practicing per day makes the prospect of registering for the next semester/s classes less odious, as I have considerably greater flexibility regarding the times of day when I can take class compared to someone playing in a varsity sport.
2. Entry Overhead
When I use the term "overhead," I mean the amount of preparation I would need learning about a sport, as well as getting in the exercise and conditioning needed to prepare myself to play. This would be increased if I expressed interest in a varsity sport, versus a club sport, at least partially from the increased rigor needed. The other part of this increased overhead, I feel, is driven by next factor, which I call "competitiveness in entry."
3. Competitiveness in Entry
This is probably not the best name for a factor, but maybe it won't sound so bad once I elaborate. Usually, club sports don't require prior experience, and are open to people who want to try their hand at a sport, irrespective of if they have had much experience at it. On the other hand, while it is not outright impossible to join a varsity team without any form of repertoire, the odds are much more slim. At least part of this, I feel stems from the fact that at tryouts you'll often be competing for a spot against those who have played on teams in the past (whether at prior colleges, in high school, et cetera), people who never had to contend with the physiological issues I've had to deal with.
4. It is still competitive
Club sports still compete against other schools, and still have that sense of commitment that you need to play on a team, and you can still feel like you're a part of something bigger than yourself. For example, USA Rugby has divisions for collegiate rugby, with Division 1-A being the highest level of competitive play for college rugby in the U.S, 1-AA being the second highest, and Division III being the bottom division. Apparently, there was a Division IV from 2006 to 2011.
There is a perception I have noticed on the internet, as well as in media, that seems to go along the lines of "Div I NCAA or bust," where anything other than NCAA Div. I athletics is not competitive, or not worth the time. This is absurd, because it ignores that there are many levels of competitiveness. It also ignores that some sports that are considered club sports are not available as a Division I sport - like golf, or rugby. I will not go into a rant about the perception about club sports, as that is not the goal of this particular post, but it is a matter I do want to talk about at some point in the future.
You can break down these different levels of college sports into 3 categories:
Intramural:
Intramural sports are a way to allow anyone attending a college to play some form of sport. They are played with teams formed within the walls of an institution, and do not compete against other schools. You could look at intramural sports as the most casual level of college sports.
Varsity Sports:
Often considered the The "Big Cheese," so to speak, there are actually many layers to this category. You have your Division I NCAA athletes, the highest level of competitive play under the NCAA, often full of those who on top of wanting to play competitively, aspire for greater things afterwards (like playing professionally, or even competing in the Olympics). These are the athletics that bring money into schools, garner the most attention in the media. These teams compete regionally, and nationally, against other institutions, and work their hardest to be the best. They have the most rigorous schedules, and sets of guidelines - and also the most visibility. There are also Division II, and III NCAA athletics, which are often distinguished by smaller budgets, less public exposure compared to Division I athletics, and as a result, an increased ability to balance college and athletics on the part of athletes. It is considerably rarer to get full scholarships as a Division II athlete, and impossible as a Division II athlete, though athletes in these 2 divisions can get some form of assistance for part of their tuition. Iona College is a Division I school, meaning their teams all play in NCAA's Division I category.
Varsity Sports:
Often considered the The "Big Cheese," so to speak, there are actually many layers to this category. You have your Division I NCAA athletes, the highest level of competitive play under the NCAA, often full of those who on top of wanting to play competitively, aspire for greater things afterwards (like playing professionally, or even competing in the Olympics). These are the athletics that bring money into schools, garner the most attention in the media. These teams compete regionally, and nationally, against other institutions, and work their hardest to be the best. They have the most rigorous schedules, and sets of guidelines - and also the most visibility. There are also Division II, and III NCAA athletics, which are often distinguished by smaller budgets, less public exposure compared to Division I athletics, and as a result, an increased ability to balance college and athletics on the part of athletes. It is considerably rarer to get full scholarships as a Division II athlete, and impossible as a Division II athlete, though athletes in these 2 divisions can get some form of assistance for part of their tuition. Iona College is a Division I school, meaning their teams all play in NCAA's Division I category.
Club Sports:
Club sports are sports that are intercollegiate in nature - teams compete against other schools, either regionally, nationally, or both. Their budget, however, is often far, far smaller than that of a varsity team. Some of the funding might come from their host school, but often club sports have to fend for themselves, and raise a lot of the money for equipment, uniforms, and transportation on their own. In a sense, you could look at club sports as "any competitive, intercollegiate sport that is not operated under NCAA jurisdiction." For example, men's rugby in American colleges falls under the jurisdiction of USA Rugby.
Club sports are sports that are intercollegiate in nature - teams compete against other schools, either regionally, nationally, or both. Their budget, however, is often far, far smaller than that of a varsity team. Some of the funding might come from their host school, but often club sports have to fend for themselves, and raise a lot of the money for equipment, uniforms, and transportation on their own. In a sense, you could look at club sports as "any competitive, intercollegiate sport that is not operated under NCAA jurisdiction." For example, men's rugby in American colleges falls under the jurisdiction of USA Rugby.
'Why did I choose to play a club sport?' you might be wondering. Between the statement that could be made by pursuing varsity sports (given the issues I've had to overcome), and the prestige associated with varsity sports, you'd think that playing in a varsity sport would be worth pursuing. There are a few factors, however, that make me lean towards club sports over varsity sports besides the fact that men's rugby is considered a club sport.
1. Time Dedication
It is no secret that varsity athletes work hard, especially Div. 1 athletes. So hard that the NCAA limits their time playing, and practicing, to approximately 20 hours a week, or 4 hours per working day. This eats away a lot of time that could be dedicated to studying for classes, leisure, and necessities like eating, and sleeping. Additionally, practice schedules can create issues in so far as class availability, and scheduling.
In contrast, many club sports meet for about half that time, or 2 hours a day, for a total of 10 hours a week. Some club sports meet for less time than that. As a result, those who participate in club sports have more time to dedicate towards academic success, compared to those who are in varsity sports. For someone like me, who is still working on improving time management, and sometimes finds dis tractability an issue, the additional free time also makes it less stressful to plan out my time. Finally, the lower amount of time dedicated to practicing per day makes the prospect of registering for the next semester/s classes less odious, as I have considerably greater flexibility regarding the times of day when I can take class compared to someone playing in a varsity sport.
2. Entry Overhead
When I use the term "overhead," I mean the amount of preparation I would need learning about a sport, as well as getting in the exercise and conditioning needed to prepare myself to play. This would be increased if I expressed interest in a varsity sport, versus a club sport, at least partially from the increased rigor needed. The other part of this increased overhead, I feel, is driven by next factor, which I call "competitiveness in entry."
3. Competitiveness in Entry
This is probably not the best name for a factor, but maybe it won't sound so bad once I elaborate. Usually, club sports don't require prior experience, and are open to people who want to try their hand at a sport, irrespective of if they have had much experience at it. On the other hand, while it is not outright impossible to join a varsity team without any form of repertoire, the odds are much more slim. At least part of this, I feel stems from the fact that at tryouts you'll often be competing for a spot against those who have played on teams in the past (whether at prior colleges, in high school, et cetera), people who never had to contend with the physiological issues I've had to deal with.
4. It is still competitive
Club sports still compete against other schools, and still have that sense of commitment that you need to play on a team, and you can still feel like you're a part of something bigger than yourself. For example, USA Rugby has divisions for collegiate rugby, with Division 1-A being the highest level of competitive play for college rugby in the U.S, 1-AA being the second highest, and Division III being the bottom division. Apparently, there was a Division IV from 2006 to 2011.
There is a perception I have noticed on the internet, as well as in media, that seems to go along the lines of "Div I NCAA or bust," where anything other than NCAA Div. I athletics is not competitive, or not worth the time. This is absurd, because it ignores that there are many levels of competitiveness. It also ignores that some sports that are considered club sports are not available as a Division I sport - like golf, or rugby. I will not go into a rant about the perception about club sports, as that is not the goal of this particular post, but it is a matter I do want to talk about at some point in the future.
Thursday, March 16, 2017
A Look at the Neurological Side
In my first episode, The Contender, I mentioned that I was born with a mix of physiological, neurological, and neurobehavioral issues that hindered my development, and resulted in some rather pessimistic outlooks on life. I didn't discuss the neurological issues, nor did I discuss the neurobehavioral issues, as the physiological issues seemed more notable. Make no mistake, however, that the neurological and neurobehavioral issues I had to contend with also made growing up quite difficult. I thought I'd dedicate this blog post to talking briefly about the major neurological, and neurobehavioral issues, as well as the way they affect me. I will attempt to briefly talk about what these issues *are*, but will more so talk about what it is like having grown up with these issues.
When it comes to my neurological issues, there were two major ones that impacted my life negatively:
Tactile Defensiveness, or an adverse, negative reaction to particular sensations, and textures. A great example is encountering the sensation of walking into a spider web. We've all done it at least once, and it is a gross feeling that sends shivers down a person's spine. For those with tactile defensiveness, however, the feelings of discomfort are amplified considerably. A rather strong (and dare I say dramatic) way of putting it would be as if the skin cells were screaming out in agony, sending signals to the brain that brought out extreme distress, discomfort, and agony as well. Exposure to these sensations seem to help a lot over time, it certainly has reduced the adverse reaction to various sensations - even the universally discomforting example of spider silk unexpectedly touching the skin.
Gravitational Insecurity, which is often referred to as a fear of heights, but could be better described as an issue where your brain has trouble determining if falling is imminent or not. The resulting mixed signals from this cause great discomfort, including panic, and feeling like falling is imminent. Of course, I should take care to note that there probably are other ways, and there are many ways in which this issue presents itself. For example, when I was really little, the discomfort manifested itself whenever my parents were driving, and we made right turns. Hey, nobody said it had to manifest itself logically.
Gravitational insecurity also can impact the way my body handles things like being on rough seas, or flying through moderate to severe turbulence. The sensations regarding G forces, and negative-Gs, feel almost ... amplified, which also makes it near impossible to convince me to ride roller coasters. Oddly, one of my favorite amusement park rides is the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror at Walt Disney World, where you rise and drop 13 stories in total darkness. Hmm.
Other interesting neurological oddities that I have to put up with, if you cant to call it that, include perception of hot and cold such that I can run around in shorts and a t-shirt when it is 28°F outside, for hours, without being bothered, or take really hot showers without giving it a second thought.
Like the neurological issues I faced, my neurobehavioral issues were also largely twofold.
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), which for me was quite real - and not an example of misdiagnosis. Basically, ADD is a dysfunction in brain function, specifically to an area known as "executive functioning skills" - which includes concentration, and memory to name a couple of things. As it sounds, ADD makes focus much more difficult without others helping to keep you on track. It's as if you WANT to focus on whatever task is set in front of you, but your attention is being pulled aside by an overexcited brain. This makes school work, or any work - especially repetitive tasks - difficult to do.
ADD has gotten me into trouble before with regards to physical injury. Most notably, one time in forth grade. My best friend and I were hanging out before going to Tae-Kwon Do lessons. This friend, who enjoyed golf, was practicing his swings, and specifically warned me to stand back - which I acknowledged. Then a moth... A DAMN MOTH, flew into my line of sight, and distracted me. I went after it like a dog chasing a rabbit - right into the path of my friend's upswing. I needed 8 stitches, and was very lucky, as my friend missed my eye by an inch or two.
Time management is another thing that anyone with either ADD, or ADHD, has trouble with. Whether it is keeping track of how long you've been doing something, or even properly estimating how long a task can take. This can affect everything from morning routines, to chores, to academic coursework, and if not recognized fast enough, can create quite the burden.
Fortunately, medication has proven very effective in combating the symptoms of ADD - ever since I started taking medication, my focus has been improved many fold, and even have noticed changes related to the next neurobehavioral issue I have to content with...
Asperger's Syndrome is rather interesting. This is what is known as an Autism Spectrum Disorder, falling on the higher functioning end end of the spectrum. Perhaps the most succinct way to describe Asperger's is a dysfunction that affects how the brain interprets the world around you. For someone with Asperger's, things don't necessarily come as easily as they would for other people - for example, the way one interprets facial expression, and tone of voice is something that those with Asperger's tend to misinterpret. This can make communication difficult sometimes, not to the fault of either the person with Asperger's, or the person they are trying to communicate with. Social interaction can be more ... anxiety inducing for many people, though it should go without saying that some people cope better than others. Another aspect of Asperger's that is noted is a tendency to get stuck in repetitive patterns - for example, routines, habits, and in focus with regards to interests. It can be very difficult for someone with Asperger's to switch gears, whether it be changing what they are doing at that moment, or changing a pattern of actions they do on a daily basis.
Not all aspects of this are negative, of course. I find that I have a particularly strong ability to analyze problems, and look at deeper complexities regarding a particular problem set in front of me. I have to be careful, though, as sometimes that can lead to overthinking things.
These neurological, and neurobehavioral issues have affected me personally, making social and academic growth difficult at times. As I learn more about myself, and what I have to deal with, I am able to learn new strategies that allow me to offset the negatives associated with these issues. Fortunately, there are always plenty of resources out there, and people who are willing, and able, to lend a hand.
There are quite a few other issues I have to contend with that I also have to contend with, but these 4 issues are the "big four," as I call them, the hammer to my weal muscle tone "nail" that made growing up a real challenge.
If you want to learn more about these issues, and probably get a better general understanding about them than I could provide, check out these websites:
Tactile Defensiveness - Inform ation for P arents and P rofessionals by By Sidne y C hu, M Sc, SR OT, OTR
Gravitational Insecurity: Creates Fight or Flight Response and Sensory Defensiveness - http://ilslearningcorner.com
What Is Attention-Deficit Disorder? add-adhd.org
What Is Asperger Syndrome? - Autism Spectrum Education Network
When it comes to my neurological issues, there were two major ones that impacted my life negatively:
Tactile Defensiveness, or an adverse, negative reaction to particular sensations, and textures. A great example is encountering the sensation of walking into a spider web. We've all done it at least once, and it is a gross feeling that sends shivers down a person's spine. For those with tactile defensiveness, however, the feelings of discomfort are amplified considerably. A rather strong (and dare I say dramatic) way of putting it would be as if the skin cells were screaming out in agony, sending signals to the brain that brought out extreme distress, discomfort, and agony as well. Exposure to these sensations seem to help a lot over time, it certainly has reduced the adverse reaction to various sensations - even the universally discomforting example of spider silk unexpectedly touching the skin.
Gravitational Insecurity, which is often referred to as a fear of heights, but could be better described as an issue where your brain has trouble determining if falling is imminent or not. The resulting mixed signals from this cause great discomfort, including panic, and feeling like falling is imminent. Of course, I should take care to note that there probably are other ways, and there are many ways in which this issue presents itself. For example, when I was really little, the discomfort manifested itself whenever my parents were driving, and we made right turns. Hey, nobody said it had to manifest itself logically.
Gravitational insecurity also can impact the way my body handles things like being on rough seas, or flying through moderate to severe turbulence. The sensations regarding G forces, and negative-Gs, feel almost ... amplified, which also makes it near impossible to convince me to ride roller coasters. Oddly, one of my favorite amusement park rides is the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror at Walt Disney World, where you rise and drop 13 stories in total darkness. Hmm.
Other interesting neurological oddities that I have to put up with, if you cant to call it that, include perception of hot and cold such that I can run around in shorts and a t-shirt when it is 28°F outside, for hours, without being bothered, or take really hot showers without giving it a second thought.
Like the neurological issues I faced, my neurobehavioral issues were also largely twofold.
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), which for me was quite real - and not an example of misdiagnosis. Basically, ADD is a dysfunction in brain function, specifically to an area known as "executive functioning skills" - which includes concentration, and memory to name a couple of things. As it sounds, ADD makes focus much more difficult without others helping to keep you on track. It's as if you WANT to focus on whatever task is set in front of you, but your attention is being pulled aside by an overexcited brain. This makes school work, or any work - especially repetitive tasks - difficult to do.
ADD has gotten me into trouble before with regards to physical injury. Most notably, one time in forth grade. My best friend and I were hanging out before going to Tae-Kwon Do lessons. This friend, who enjoyed golf, was practicing his swings, and specifically warned me to stand back - which I acknowledged. Then a moth... A DAMN MOTH, flew into my line of sight, and distracted me. I went after it like a dog chasing a rabbit - right into the path of my friend's upswing. I needed 8 stitches, and was very lucky, as my friend missed my eye by an inch or two.
Time management is another thing that anyone with either ADD, or ADHD, has trouble with. Whether it is keeping track of how long you've been doing something, or even properly estimating how long a task can take. This can affect everything from morning routines, to chores, to academic coursework, and if not recognized fast enough, can create quite the burden.
Fortunately, medication has proven very effective in combating the symptoms of ADD - ever since I started taking medication, my focus has been improved many fold, and even have noticed changes related to the next neurobehavioral issue I have to content with...
Asperger's Syndrome is rather interesting. This is what is known as an Autism Spectrum Disorder, falling on the higher functioning end end of the spectrum. Perhaps the most succinct way to describe Asperger's is a dysfunction that affects how the brain interprets the world around you. For someone with Asperger's, things don't necessarily come as easily as they would for other people - for example, the way one interprets facial expression, and tone of voice is something that those with Asperger's tend to misinterpret. This can make communication difficult sometimes, not to the fault of either the person with Asperger's, or the person they are trying to communicate with. Social interaction can be more ... anxiety inducing for many people, though it should go without saying that some people cope better than others. Another aspect of Asperger's that is noted is a tendency to get stuck in repetitive patterns - for example, routines, habits, and in focus with regards to interests. It can be very difficult for someone with Asperger's to switch gears, whether it be changing what they are doing at that moment, or changing a pattern of actions they do on a daily basis.
Not all aspects of this are negative, of course. I find that I have a particularly strong ability to analyze problems, and look at deeper complexities regarding a particular problem set in front of me. I have to be careful, though, as sometimes that can lead to overthinking things.
These neurological, and neurobehavioral issues have affected me personally, making social and academic growth difficult at times. As I learn more about myself, and what I have to deal with, I am able to learn new strategies that allow me to offset the negatives associated with these issues. Fortunately, there are always plenty of resources out there, and people who are willing, and able, to lend a hand.
There are quite a few other issues I have to contend with that I also have to contend with, but these 4 issues are the "big four," as I call them, the hammer to my weal muscle tone "nail" that made growing up a real challenge.
If you want to learn more about these issues, and probably get a better general understanding about them than I could provide, check out these websites:
Tactile Defensiveness - Inform ation for P arents and P rofessionals by By Sidne y C hu, M Sc, SR OT, OTR
Gravitational Insecurity: Creates Fight or Flight Response and Sensory Defensiveness - http://ilslearningcorner.com
What Is Attention-Deficit Disorder? add-adhd.org
What Is Asperger Syndrome? - Autism Spectrum Education Network
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
The Purpose of this Blog
You might be wondering why I have this bog set up, given that my video series will be used to tell the story about how I get into shape to join the Iona College rugby club. Fair question.
In each video, I will touch upon quite a few different subjects. For example, the multiple aspects that make up the physiological, neurological, and neurobehavioral issues I have had to overcome / still deal with today. Each subject has a lot more depth than I can fit into a single video without making each episode go well over the time limit I gave myself for each episode, so I decided to create a separate platform to expand upon those subjects. I also wanted a platform to talk about issues that, while not directly related to my adventures, were related to the subject of school sports, the groups that govern them, the different levels of college sports, and the way those levels of college sports are looked at by the schools and student bodies, as there are plenty of areas that, to say the least, bug me.
I originally wanted to make this expanded discussion its own series on my channel. Unfortunately, I had trouble agreeing upon a format to do that, and also had trouble figuring out how to work around my very low budget setup in order to maintain the audio and video quality that I expect out of my main series. I set the bar extraordinarily high for myself, because I want my work to be the best it can be.
Starting with the release of my first episode, I hope to do a blog post every week, although I might need to bump it up to doing a post every two weeks once the spring semester begins. Admittedly, I am nervous about having enough content to be able to continuously put out blog posts. Hopefully, that is a common theme, or area of nervousness for the blogging newcomer, and a worry that will prove itself false.
On the YouTube series, I am finally getting back on track with regards to finishing the first episode. My past semester had been wrought with severe depression, and a struggle to stay afloat. Hopefully, between being on Christmas break, and finally getting help (and feeling better than I've felt in a long time), I can finally get my series on track.
There is a lot coming in the next week or two, so stay tuned. Before you know it, I will finally be running down the road to rugby fitness.
In each video, I will touch upon quite a few different subjects. For example, the multiple aspects that make up the physiological, neurological, and neurobehavioral issues I have had to overcome / still deal with today. Each subject has a lot more depth than I can fit into a single video without making each episode go well over the time limit I gave myself for each episode, so I decided to create a separate platform to expand upon those subjects. I also wanted a platform to talk about issues that, while not directly related to my adventures, were related to the subject of school sports, the groups that govern them, the different levels of college sports, and the way those levels of college sports are looked at by the schools and student bodies, as there are plenty of areas that, to say the least, bug me.
I originally wanted to make this expanded discussion its own series on my channel. Unfortunately, I had trouble agreeing upon a format to do that, and also had trouble figuring out how to work around my very low budget setup in order to maintain the audio and video quality that I expect out of my main series. I set the bar extraordinarily high for myself, because I want my work to be the best it can be.
Starting with the release of my first episode, I hope to do a blog post every week, although I might need to bump it up to doing a post every two weeks once the spring semester begins. Admittedly, I am nervous about having enough content to be able to continuously put out blog posts. Hopefully, that is a common theme, or area of nervousness for the blogging newcomer, and a worry that will prove itself false.
On the YouTube series, I am finally getting back on track with regards to finishing the first episode. My past semester had been wrought with severe depression, and a struggle to stay afloat. Hopefully, between being on Christmas break, and finally getting help (and feeling better than I've felt in a long time), I can finally get my series on track.
There is a lot coming in the next week or two, so stay tuned. Before you know it, I will finally be running down the road to rugby fitness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)