In my first episode, The Contender, I mentioned that I was born with a mix of physiological, neurological, and neurobehavioral issues that hindered my development, and resulted in some rather pessimistic outlooks on life. I didn't discuss the neurological issues, nor did I discuss the neurobehavioral issues, as the physiological issues seemed more notable. Make no mistake, however, that the neurological and neurobehavioral issues I had to contend with also made growing up quite difficult. I thought I'd dedicate this blog post to talking briefly about the major neurological, and neurobehavioral issues, as well as the way they affect me. I will attempt to briefly talk about what these issues *are*, but will more so talk about what it is like having grown up with these issues.
When it comes to my neurological issues, there were two major ones that impacted my life negatively:
Tactile Defensiveness, or an adverse, negative reaction to particular sensations, and textures. A great example is encountering the sensation of walking into a spider web. We've all done it at least once, and it is a gross feeling that sends shivers down a person's spine. For those with tactile defensiveness, however, the feelings of discomfort are amplified considerably. A rather strong (and dare I say dramatic) way of putting it would be as if the skin cells were screaming out in agony, sending signals to the brain that brought out extreme distress, discomfort, and agony as well. Exposure to these sensations seem to help a lot over time, it certainly has reduced the adverse reaction to various sensations - even the universally discomforting example of spider silk unexpectedly touching the skin.
Gravitational Insecurity, which is often referred to as a fear of heights, but could be better described as an issue where your brain has trouble determining if falling is imminent or not. The resulting mixed signals from this cause great discomfort, including panic, and feeling like falling is imminent. Of course, I should take care to note that there probably are other ways, and there are many ways in which this issue presents itself. For example, when I was really little, the discomfort manifested itself whenever my parents were driving, and we made right turns. Hey, nobody said it had to manifest itself logically.
Gravitational insecurity also can impact the way my body handles things like being on rough seas, or flying through moderate to severe turbulence. The sensations regarding G forces, and negative-Gs, feel almost ... amplified, which also makes it near impossible to convince me to ride roller coasters. Oddly, one of my favorite amusement park rides is the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror at Walt Disney World, where you rise and drop 13 stories in total darkness. Hmm.
Other interesting neurological oddities that I have to put up with, if you cant to call it that, include perception of hot and cold such that I can run around in shorts and a t-shirt when it is 28°F outside, for hours, without being bothered, or take really hot showers without giving it a second thought.
Like the neurological issues I faced, my neurobehavioral issues were also largely twofold.
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), which for me was quite real - and not an example of misdiagnosis. Basically, ADD is a dysfunction in brain function, specifically to an area known as "executive functioning skills" - which includes concentration, and memory to name a couple of things. As it sounds, ADD makes focus much more difficult without others helping to keep you on track. It's as if you WANT to focus on whatever task is set in front of you, but your attention is being pulled aside by an overexcited brain. This makes school work, or any work - especially repetitive tasks - difficult to do.
ADD has gotten me into trouble before with regards to physical injury. Most notably, one time in forth grade. My best friend and I were hanging out before going to Tae-Kwon Do lessons. This friend, who enjoyed golf, was practicing his swings, and specifically warned me to stand back - which I acknowledged. Then a moth... A DAMN MOTH, flew into my line of sight, and distracted me. I went after it like a dog chasing a rabbit - right into the path of my friend's upswing. I needed 8 stitches, and was very lucky, as my friend missed my eye by an inch or two.
Time management is another thing that anyone with either ADD, or ADHD, has trouble with. Whether it is keeping track of how long you've been doing something, or even properly estimating how long a task can take. This can affect everything from morning routines, to chores, to academic coursework, and if not recognized fast enough, can create quite the burden.
Fortunately, medication has proven very effective in combating the symptoms of ADD - ever since I started taking medication, my focus has been improved many fold, and even have noticed changes related to the next neurobehavioral issue I have to content with...
Asperger's Syndrome is rather interesting. This is what is known as an Autism Spectrum Disorder, falling on the higher functioning end end of the spectrum. Perhaps the most succinct way to describe Asperger's is a dysfunction that affects how the brain interprets the world around you. For someone with Asperger's, things don't necessarily come as easily as they would for other people - for example, the way one interprets facial expression, and tone of voice is something that those with Asperger's tend to misinterpret. This can make communication difficult sometimes, not to the fault of either the person with Asperger's, or the person they are trying to communicate with. Social interaction can be more ... anxiety inducing for many people, though it should go without saying that some people cope better than others. Another aspect of Asperger's that is noted is a tendency to get stuck in repetitive patterns - for example, routines, habits, and in focus with regards to interests. It can be very difficult for someone with Asperger's to switch gears, whether it be changing what they are doing at that moment, or changing a pattern of actions they do on a daily basis.
Not all aspects of this are negative, of course. I find that I have a particularly strong ability to analyze problems, and look at deeper complexities regarding a particular problem set in front of me. I have to be careful, though, as sometimes that can lead to overthinking things.
These neurological, and neurobehavioral issues have affected me personally, making social and academic growth difficult at times. As I learn more about myself, and what I have to deal with, I am able to learn new strategies that allow me to offset the negatives associated with these issues. Fortunately, there are always plenty of resources out there, and people who are willing, and able, to lend a hand.
There are quite a few other issues I have to contend with that I also have to contend with, but these 4 issues are the "big four," as I call them, the hammer to my weal muscle tone "nail" that made growing up a real challenge.
If you want to learn more about these issues, and probably get a better general understanding about them than I could provide, check out these websites:
Tactile Defensiveness - Inform ation for P arents and P rofessionals by By Sidne y C hu, M Sc, SR OT, OTR
Gravitational Insecurity: Creates Fight or Flight Response and Sensory Defensiveness - http://ilslearningcorner.com
What Is Attention-Deficit Disorder? add-adhd.org
What Is Asperger Syndrome? - Autism Spectrum Education Network
